(just some shots from real life)
Mothers Day is this weekend (score!), so it just seems appropriate to write about… mothers. Looking back, if someone would’ve told me I’d have two kids by the time I was 24, and that they’d be a measly eighteen months apart, I would’ve laughed.  It’s not that I didn’t want kids, but really, I wasn’t going to be the kind of person who was pregnant by the age of 22, and I was DEFINITELY not the person who would find out they were pregnant again when their baby was nine months old.  But, like so many other instances, I’ve learned that the very second I condemn or judge, is the same second it’s going to happen to me. With all that to say, being a mother is a freakishly hard job, but one that’s totally worth it… I know, it sounds cliché.
The rest of this I hesitate to share because it’s probably more personal than I’ve ever been on this blog… but, I think, in light of mothers day, with all the roses and gifts and annoying radio commercials about pendants… it’s nice to have some nitty gritty…
Two years ago this week I did something that most people wouldn’t. I moved 3,000 to chase an idea. It was covered in glitter and promise… two years ago I started the hardest and most grueling challenge of my life. I’ve lost more friends than I’ve gained, cried more than I’ve laughed, and let go of more than I thought I possessed. I remember that day, boarding a plane with a tiny, twelve week old baby, and a toddler who was barely talking… shaking with fear, holding back sobs as I left everything and everyone I know. The only thing that was holding me together was the woman who knows me the best, and loves me unconditionally… my mother. Â She was my rock, sitting there with me on that five hour flight. I knew she was as miserable as I was underneath our masks… I couldn’t imagine my daughter moving so far away from me at a time like I was. Â But, she somehow held it together for the next two weeks, helping me set up what few belongings I brought along to my new ‘home’. When she left I cried for days. It felt like a part of my soul was gone, and it hit me that I was all alone.
Throughout that year I truly felt what the term sacrifice meant. I learned how to numb myself from the sounds of crying so I could work a little bit longer, I learned how to let go of my expectations of how I wanted to parent, and put into place doing what I had to do to pursue a dream. Talk about something to force you to succeed. This business is truly built on sweat and tears… it looks glamorous and exciting on the outside, but on the inside is one fired up mama, who is proving to her children that I can make this happen. That the sacrifices I’ve made and continue to make are worth it. (Oh God, I hope they are worth it.)… my journey is just beginning… but it didn’t start with  a line like “I was a stay at home mom and my husband bought me a DSLR for my birthday…”
I know I’m not the only mother who has a story. And I know I’m not the strongest or the smartest or the most hard working… but I’m doing exactly what my mom did for me… I’m teaching the next generation how to be women. And my only hope is that I’ll do the job as good as the one who taught me…
Now I must go and marvel at Hazel, because she just made an “H”.
- Kim: Rachel - This was very sweet! It's so nice to have such loving supportive parents (I'm very thankful to have them myself) and I can see that you are being that person to your girls. Good for you! (May 06th 21:11)
- Cat: You're one badass mama with beautiful little gals. Keep up the good n' hard work lady! (May 08th 03:24)
- Cat: P.S. One thing that's awesome about starting your own business is that it's something you can pass on to your children later in life if they want to do it too...or at least knowledge they can use in other pursuits. (May 08th 03:27)
